Concerning Health: Saving People from Themselves

Recently, the anti-smoking community, what I have dubbed the Army of the Health Elitists, scored a decisive victory in the war on choice. They have banned smoking in cars, when a child under the age of 18 years is present. This legislation only exists in select cities, but with such secure footing, the march will continue.

I’ll lose any argument over this issue with anyone who elects the scientific debate – touting the proof tobacco is bad for you as if such science were a blueprint for governmental philosophy. It would seem that because Big Tobacco lied for so many years about the health affects of smoking, the only logical conclusion is to adopt an absolutely contrary legal stance. Thus, the public has shifted the support all the way to the other side, to those who insist: “If it ain’t good for your health, it must be criminal.” What arguments can I, an anarcho-smoker, make at this point? That cigarettes are good for you? Since this is the debate--the health risks--then we advocates of choice and autonomy are getting lost in between. This is carved into the stone tablets. Fascism ordained by the people. Obviously in the conquered minority, I thought I’d forgo the diatribe, and simply list some headlines I see coming in our totalitarian, albeit healthy and safe, years ahead:

Children banned from riding in cars due to surge in road accidents.

Compulsory Abstinence Bill in House. Health Organizations say sex just too risky.

Abortion shown to be potentially hazardous to future reproductive health. Choice repealed for women.

Study: 0.000000176% of all children at risk from collapsing trees. Earth is sued for gross negligence.